A gentleman says good-bye...

My Pa passed away this morning.

A gentleman in the truest sense of the word.

To tell the story of my Pa, I need to start with my Nan. My Nan is a survivor. Her first husband, my Mum's Dad, beat her from the first night of their marriage until the day she boldly walked away from him taking my Mum with her. My Mum was fourteen. Leaving your husband wasn't the "done thing" back then, but Nan did it anyway. She had to... she's a survivor. Her life and the life she wanted for her children was worth more than what people thought of her.

She was alone, without a companion, for the longest time....then she met Charles.

They were in their late sixties when they found each other. He honestly swept her off her feet! At first she didn't know what to do. Mum became her relationship consultant. It was a funny thing to witness as a teenager. We knew though that this man was special...that he was bringing more than himself as a companion for Nan. He was bringing a Dad for my Mum and a Pa for us. Something that we had been missing without even realising it.

When they married we were all so thrilled. It seemed healing had come to my Nan's battle scarred heart at long last. There was so much joy and so much laughter. He had a cheeky sense of humour and loved a good yarn. He pottered in the garden and took her on adventures. They were a match, a beautiful, beautiful match. They were determined to jam a life's worth of memories into the time they had left.

They made each day count until they couldn't anymore.

They stayed by each other's side right up until this morning...

The Alzheimer's worked really hard to take the gentleman away from us, but our memories haven't faded. I have so much more respect for memories now and the power in sharing them with others. The legacy of this fine gentleman will be passed to my children and they will know that for a brief time and angel touched our family.

I will miss you Pa. I will love you always and I know I will see you again. xo

Discounted humans...

One of the books currently on my bedside table is Half The Sky by Nicholas D Kristof & Sheryl Wudunn.

www.halftheskymovement.org

I have to say it's one of the most alarming, enlightening and inspiring books I've ever read. The power of people at its best and at its worst is highlighted. The book is about women. The key is education. The fight is for a fair, free life.

Something was said in the book that really got under my skin. It kept bouncing around in my mind. I had to stop and give it some more time than just a glance as I continued reading.

"People get away with enslaving village girls for the same reason that people got away with enslaving blacks two hundred years ago: The victims are perceived as discounted humans."

For me this quote goes to the very core of humanity.

How do I see or value my fellow human beings?   What do my actions reveal about my attitude?

My son has special needs. Does that discount him? Does that make him less than me? Less than his sister? Less than my nephew?

At the moment my son can't talk. He has no way of telling us if he understands what's going on. We don't know if he can read, if he knows what a computer does, what his favourite colour is. He is a mystery.

And he is not alone...

What do my actions reveal about my attitude? Do I value those who can't give me anything in return? Will I fight for them? Will I speak for those who can't?

Time to stop and give it some time I think...