MOVE!

I'm not one to usually go in for new year's resolution. I can't handle the pressure. I don't like the feeling of expectation and then the self loathing that comes from the lack of reaching the expectation. I struggle to live up to the ideal I put forward.

I think in the past I've over done it. My journal entry for January 1st would usually read... "This year I will...

• lose 20kgs
•  run 5kms
• exercise every day
• clean my house every week
•  sweep the floor every day
•  stay on top of the laundry
•  read my Bible every day
•  pray for ALL my family and friends every day
•  read a book a week
• limit take away to once a month

oh and the classic,

• learn a new language."

All those things you would love to do, if life didn't get in the way! Honestly I was setting myself up to fail. I am a list maker. I need the list to keep me focused and on track. This list.. this list  is totally insane! Well that's what I would say to myself December 31st to make it all OK. 

So now I don't put anything on the new year. I let it speak for itself. Whatever happens happens. I try to get things done as they come up but don't go looking for them if they don't.

On reflection that hasn't worked too well for me either. I've ended up pretty directionless and slightly adrift. Not sure of what I would like out of life. More on defence than attack. Circumstances dictating me rather than me dictating the circumstances, as much as one can with a husband and two children!

So on January 1st this year I set myself a little task. Instead of the usual list of the unachievable I decided I would think about one word. A mandate if you will. One word that can be spoken and define what I want 2012 to be.  Now after a couple of weeks of pondering and thinking I've come up with that word...

move

Over the past ten years that we've been married we have moved a lot, so my reaction to that word can often be quite negative. So to clarify, the definition of move that I am applying is "to take action, to proceed toward a certain state or condition." (Thank you merriam-webster.com) 

I want things to change. I want my life to look different at the end of the year to how it looked at the start. In the past I've let the list cripple me and confine me to the point where it all ends up looking and feeling the same. 

This year the pressure is off and I'm on the move! I don't want to stay in the past, I want to move. I don't want to stay on the couch, I want to move. If I want things to change I can move them. Instead of bowing to the expectation of how that should look like through the constraints of a list I am letting the year speak for itself under the umbrella of me being willing to move. 

You know what's really happening, don't you... I'm letting go. I'm letting God. He knows what "state or condition" I'm moving to I just have to keep moving.

So here it is,

 Let GO.  Let GOD.  MOVE.

Click on the below...pictures to match the word.

http://vimeo.com/27246366