Which Mummy today?

I am struggling to believe it's already June! Half the year has nearly gone and I feel like it just started.

I have taken on some extra bits and pieces at my daughter's school this year and it seems it has just been one thing after another and it's June! There is so much happening this month on top of the regular that I find myself being extra tense and therefore extra snappy. I feel like the ordinary every day things are getting away from me and I am just running past glancing at what needs to be done instead of stopping and being able to get it done. And I HATE that! I can't handle that feeling of half doing things, it makes me feel incompetent and lazy. (I know, I clearly have issues!) Washing is left until it's an out of control pile, meals are cooked for convenience not enjoyment, clothes that should be mended are held together with safety pins and school notes are lost amongst piles of bills and "I really should read that" papers. This is not me! I  like order and everything having a place. I like clothes being washed and put away on the same day. I like being able to sit down at the end of the day knowing I got "the list" done. Not this month, no way!

Today, where I live is a public holiday, a day off for everyone. I woke up with one or two things that needed to get done. I determined Snappy Mummy wouldn't come today and that I would have a fun day with my kids while catching up on a few of those ordinary every day things. Well that lasted about two hours and then Snappy Mummy was back in full swing! I had to get something out of the cupboard in the play room, usually a no worries job, but because of all the extra and no time to get to it, the room has gotten way out of control and there was a mountain of "RUBBISH" (said loud enough that most of our street would hear it) in the way. I was cross and grumpy and vowed (again loud enough for the street to hear it) that "If you don't play with it I will give it to someone who does or throw it in the bin!!!"

BREATHE....

Total over reaction. Why? Where did that come from? I found myself wondering if something was to happen to me how would my kids remember me? As Snappy Mummy? The crazy lady who is calm one minute and then letting loose with Academy Award worthy monologues of the burden she carries. Terrible. Convicting.

I have taken on the extra bits and pieces, they haven't. I choose to do this, yes it is busy and and yes there are things not getting done as well as I like them to but it's all still working. We are eating home cooked meals. There are clean clothes to put on and my kids still love me!

Time to cut myself some slack I think. Time to know that life can get busy but in amongst it is family, is love and is the ability to say No!