Mediocrity versus Pride...

We did it!! We made it!! We survived our first year of school!

Both of my kids started school this year. Two different schools. It's been quite a challenge shuffling between the two, juggling all the excursions, notes, volunteering etc etc. But... we did it!!

The hardest part has been surviving all the end of year "stuff". Parent teacher wrap ups, Christmas concerts, Christmas parties, Presentation Assembly and "Graduation".

"Graduation"... from kindergarten.

I used to have such an attitude about this sort of thing. Before my kids were in school, I was totally with Mr. Incredible when he commented on his super-hero son moving from the fourth to fifth grade...

"It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional..."

That was me, so cynical.

Now I'm so happy! Giddy-emotional happy! I have such a sense of achievement. It feels disproportionate. Totally over the top.

I'm perplexed... is this what my life will be made up of now? Living my life through my children. Chatting with the other Mums at the copious events it seems this isn't just me, we're all feeling it. Is this the part I should be worried about? The part where there is a big flashing neon sign warning me that I could lose "myself" in all of this and one day wake up in an "empty nest" totally disconnected with "me".

I think if I was left to my own devices, in amongst the juggle I would miss the "signs" but I have a husband who is determined to keep the "me" in our lives.

So the truth is I wasn't actually at the graduation...I was at a FOO FIGHTERS concert. Very Rock 'n' Roll of me I know and not at all like the mid-30s mother of two "Soccer Mom" image I just portrayed!

Once my ears adjusted to hearing the F-bomb every 15 seconds (BIG adjustment after mostly only hearing Strawberry Shortcake and Thomas the Tank Engine for the last six years) I was there in the zone... jumping, arms raised, screaming "There goes my hero..." with the rest of them!

In amongst the "proud Mumma" moments and the guilt of missing the graduation it was nice to re-connect with the old me. Although my ringing ears and mega-tired hangover the next day brought me back to mid-30s mother of two reality with a thud, it was worth it.

The guilt of missing the graduation was short-lived too as the compensation of a celebratory breakfast the next morning was enough for Miss 6.

And the fact is... it's all "me". These things are "me"...the elements that make me and shape me and change me.